The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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