I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
