writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
