woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
