my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
