Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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