All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
