Can i not drive my cunt home
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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