I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
