Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
