DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
