What did we do last night that was yellow?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
