I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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