Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
