u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Every concussion has its silver lining
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
