shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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