the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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