If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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