i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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