I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
