i just had sex bonerless
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
