News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
