And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
