He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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