We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
