11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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