She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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