(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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