You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
