That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
