hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
