whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Can i not drive my cunt home
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
