I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
so much tequila, so little girl.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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