Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
