it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I am one with the molecules
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sorry about my life...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
