no. you can't hotbox the world.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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