I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
