I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
