I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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