Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
