I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
