I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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