well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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