Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
