Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
