I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
