If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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