he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
A+ Viking dick
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
