You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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