The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
