youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
